it's probably because comparatively you are really tiny in the real world. how many times have you looked at the earth from space? i've only been in "space" 3 times. that's not enough to know what earth looks like. quit being so hard on yourself. from my 3 times with that point of view, i think you've hit the nail on the head. if you need some help from someone who's been there, here is my log entry from day 42,437 of my initial space voyage; the day we first saw earth: ************************************************* LOG ENTRY #2,423,512 - DAY 42437 ************************************************* Fuel: Full, but stock is starting to deplete. We are nearing a new planet which has a lot of gasses that could continue us for another 57m light years. Nutrients: The life cycle "Circle" is nearing perfection. We have about 2-3m light years of children left to consume before reproduction is needed again. Exploration: Yesterday we entered a new galaxy so thick with stars that it appears milky. We are nearing a planet rich with atmospheric gasses. From what we can tell, there is physical life on this planet so we will need to proceed with caution. Personal: My fight with my lover, ManlyMan, yesterday is making me desire relocation to one of these planets we visit on our voyage. Maybe visitation to this next planet, or his continual need to pinch my butt, will push me to stay.